Tuesday, June 1, 2010

A 2nd Language Would Be So Useful


I said in the beginning that my blog wasn't really a coupon site but more about me and my family and that includes all my short comings.. and they are many. For the most part I feel like I am a great Mom but an area I need total help in are my communication skills..Ya see, I'm a yeller. I don't like to yell it makes me feel bad but what makes me feel worse is to think my babies are use to it. Now, I don't swear and I don't fly off the handle and start beating my kids but I am a yeller. And because I come from a very loud family I am a LOUD Yeller, a Deep Loud Yeller and I know this. That is why I go around shutting all the windows when I feel the yell coming out. I wish I knew Sign Language so I could yell at them and no one would hear me. Some times I think I need Meds or wish I had them but eventually they would wear off:)

AJ has now been gone 3 months with the exception of 2 weeks when he came home after school. I can handle AJ being gone. I can handle being a single Mom but what I can't handle is when my kids are mean to one another. Mainly Madison mean to Cohen.. He'll work on something so hard and when he presents it to her she just walks away or walks past him. Never acknowledge him at all. I want to rip her head off... She isn't like that to Jack and Cohen notices she favors Jack. Why? I have no idea. What is going on? I have good kids except this 1 little thing and I can't stand it. When she hurts Cohen's feelings it sends him in a down ward spiral of, She doesn't like me. She only likes Jack. I get so frustrated. First he's very sensitive and get upset when he's feelings get hurt and that happens quite a bit. Second, (and I'm just being honest) He's crying is not cute to look at or hear...at all.

Today, after school, when she called home on her walkie talkie I told her to walk slow because the boys wanted to meet her at the end of the side walk. Cohen tried and tried and tried to get both of their scooters down to her so she could ride one home. I told him to just leave it, she'll be here soon just go down there. He said, "No Mama, Sister really likes to ride it." So I watched him as he struggled and scrapped his ankles as he tried different ways to get it to her. Once again she called and I said, "Walk Slower and make Sure you say, Thank You" before I knew it she came in the house and 2 min later he came in crying and wailing his arms around. After I got done yelling at her and sending her to her room.... and BTW she didn't even say "Thank You" I yelled at him and told him to man up and just say screw it!!! Which in hind sight is not the best I know but what do you tell a 5 year old who wears his heart on his sleeve. Siblings aren't always the most affectionate I know, but she could at least acknowledge him. He is always going above and beyond to do things for her.. After calming down I took a note pad up to her and told her to write down 20 things she likes about Cohen and when I go back up I'm going to make them sit face to face so she can read her list to him. Ugggg!!! Any suggestions??? I don't want her to be calloused to his heart or any one else's for that matter. God gives us gifts and we are to love, cultivate and take care of them. I want her to see and know the treasure in Cohen not only as her brother but a precious gift God has given our family. Any suggestions??? How do I break this cycle????

2 comments:

  1. Wish I could help, but I have the same issues with my three. I think with three that 2 always gang up on one....and in my case it changes. Sometimes it is Abby and Avery against Drew or it flips to Drew and Avery against Abby. Avery is the only one constant in the problem...lol. If anyone gives you any good ideas let me know. Remeber when we saw Lisa Welschel and she said she had her son hammer a nail into the fence for every mean thing he said and then after a month she had him remove them. Then he saw all the holes his words left.

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  2. I say everytime she is mean and I am talking truly mean. Let him break something of hers. When she comes to you crying just say how do you think he feels when you break him down.
    However you know I don't have the worlds greatest parenting skills. I told her kid to beat down another kid.

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